Flann O'Brien - The Hard Life - The Eyes of a Naive Lad Cause Many a Chuckle

I don't know what possessed me to buy this when I picked it from the shelf in a bookstore in London. I read the back and made a decision to buy. Well, I was so pleased I did because Flann O'Brien had me in stitches of laughter with his way of showing the delighted reader a world through a young and naive boy's eyes. It is a laugh a moment and is done with charming zeal. A smashing Irish comedy set in Dublin, Ireland of the past.

This young lad tells the story of his sorry household through innocent eyes while you, the reader, see the true picture against the young lad's challenged perception. Its Great!

When his mother dies his family decide to tell him gently by saying: "She has gone to a better place." Our story teller asks: "When will she be coming back?"

The story is told by the lad along such lines which comes across so charming and funny. 

Retro British Motor Car - Austin 7 Built 1929

Austin 7 built 1929

As Carole and I was walking back to Leigh-on-Sea from Chalkwell in Essex, UK; this little gem of a car pulled up beside us and out jumped the driver who had been giving the car plenty of TLC for a number of years. He said it was his Austin 7 and it was made in 1929. He was taking it to a car show. Obviously, it is a good old retro Brit car so why not have it here on the Retro Brit blog. You don't see such splendid machines every day unless you are the gentleman that owns such a grand little car. 

Ghoulish Remains of Vampires Found by Archaelogists.

Bulgarian Archaeologists dig up Vampire remains

Since fictional knowledge of supernatural creatures, such as vampires, came into our minds through stories, etc; many of us have wanted to believe in such beings. Over time we have even twisted and re-fashioned them into anti-heroes, convincing ourselves they live among us secretly and preserve some strange good. We re-invent them as beautiful Gothic type creatures that we might want to fall in love with. I think some of these strange Goth dressed teenagers, of today, would run headlong into the path of a vampire to be bitten into the supernatural world of such beings. We even have loads of tv, books and film series based on such things. However, this is all fantasy, but the original folklore comes from rural Balkan people and their belief of such things. Vampires were very real, to these people, at one time, and because of such beliefs; they often did things from hysteria and panic concerning their conviction of vampires. 

In remote areas of Eastern Europe, the people have always harboured a fear and belief of vampires. Such creatures were not so pretty to the small perspective of peasant villagers and the remote type of world they lived in. Even up to a few decades past. Often people, believed to be vampires, were buried with stakes through their heart to stop them returning as undead supernatural beings. Often they were visualised as the rotting flesh of dead people walking about, but sometimes possessing abilities to portray an image of allurement to deceive a victim into thinking they were an image of love.

Recently in Bulgaria, archaeologists found two medieval skeletons pierced through the chest with iron rods to supposedly stop them from turning into vampires. The discovery highlights the dreadful belief and practise common in some villages up until a century ago, say historians.

People suspected of becoming undead (vampires) had their hearts stabbed after death, for fear they would return to feast on living humans' blood.

Many such archaeological sites get unearthed in countries throughout the Balkan region as this area is home to a great number of vampire burial grounds.

In the photo at the very top of the blog, searchers came by two specimens in their graves, dating back to the Middle Ages, in the Black Sea town of Sozopol. The skeletons were stabbed with rods betraying a practise which was common in many Bulgarian villages up until around 1910 of the 20th Century. This is according to Bozhidar Dimitrov who is based at the National History Museum in the Bulgaria's capital city, Sofia.

People believed the stake would impale the undead to their graves thus preventing the 'believed' vampire  from leaving the grave at night to roam and terrorise the living.

In 2004, archaeologists discovered another six nailed-down skeletons at a site near the eastern Bulgarian town of Debelt. These ghoulish religious rites were also practised in neighbouring Serbia and too.

Vampire legends form an important part of the region's folklore. The most famous tale is that of Romanian count Vlad the Impaler, known as Dracula, who staked his war enemies and drank their blood.  Also a Hungarian Countess that was tried for such things concerning bathing in virgin blood.

The myth inspired Irish writer, Bram Stoker, to create his legendary Gothic horror novel, Dracula, which was first published in 1897 and has since been turned into numerous film versions.

Peregrine Falcon dives at 180 mph - Ultimate Killer

A peregrine falcon dives, with free fall parachute camera crew, for a meat target. The bird of prey reaches a speed of 180mph with ease. This is a clip from a BBC wildlife documentary.

CATS, CATS, CATS - Moggy Kitten - Our Little Lilly Cat

Today 7th April, we acquired this little Moggy Kitten called Lilly. She was born 5th February and is two months. She was meowing all the way from Canvey Island to Leigh-on-Sea, because she was a little confused. However, once indoors, she seemed to settle down and become very nosey concerning her surroundings. As I type these words, Lilly as fallen asleep on my lap. I think she has taken a shine to me.

We are going to allow her to have a litter when she gets older, but until then; no acne faced Toms are getting anywhere near her. She has become more settled and playful as time goes by. At first she was crouching nervously as she explored, but a little later, Lilly became bolder and started moving around with more confidence. 

She enjoys her toy mouse filled with catnip - a garden herb that cats are attracted to.

Next Day 8th April.

Lilly seems very at home now and is jumping and running about - climbing all over Carole and me while we watch tv. I'm wondering if she is enjoying the attention more, because there were about seven or eight kittens in the home we got her from. She uses the litter tray and is looking out through the conservatory windows into the garden. Obviously she is too young to go out just yet, but soon she'll be able to and then Lilly will be able to explore a whole new world.

Moyra Melons' Commotion Causing Favorite Ear Rings

Once again, Moyra Melons' happily over excited husband came home from work, to be asked for the benefit of his opinion, concerning her new ear rings.

"What do you think of these?" she asked as he walked into the lounge.

For a brief moment, he was taken aback; as one might well imagine. His reply was a little confused at first.

"Think of what?" He babbled as his eyes almost bulged out of his head.

"Do you like what you see? I have to make sure I get it right and create an impression when we go to your works function," Moyra added excitedly. She was rather fond of these particular ear rings.

"Well I certainly think you'll cause a commotion dear," came his startled answer.

Moyra frowned and looked confused. "A commotion? Oh dear, I just wanted to turn a few heads with these."

"Oh, I can guarantee you'll turn a few heads Moyra."

Moyra Melons calmed down a little as she continued. "Well that is fine, but it still does not explain why I would cause a commotion."

"Oh well," replied her husband. "Perhaps I should demonstrate why you would cause a commotion."

"Please do," replied Moyra as her smiling and appreciative husband closed the lounge door.

Afterwards, Moyra wanted to show him the dress she intended to ware because she had an inkling that he might have been confused on certain matters concerning what she would be showing at the works function besides her ear rings.   



Druid - Medwyn Goodall

This is a very haunting and compelling slice of music from Medwyn Goodall. It makes me drift and imagine Celtic Britain in pre-Roman times. 

Roman Emperor Vespasian fought in Britain - Attack at Great Hill Fort (Mai Dun) Britain's Durotriges Tribe

Mai-Dun - Ancient British Great Hill Fort Attacked by Vespasian.

Mai-Dun - Celtic for (Great Hill)
Imagine the inner rampart walled by a wooden palisade

In 43 AD the Roman Invasion of Britain was well underway and led by the Roman Emperor Claudius. There had been a huge raid by Julius Caesar over ninety years prior, but this was mainly to stop a British war chieftain acquiring too much territory in neighbouring Celtic kingdoms and forming a British union of tribes that may have aided Vercingetorix and his Gaul nations.

By 43 AD Emperor Claudius had designs on bringing Britain into the boundaries of the expanding Roman Empire and to this end, he decided to send Roman soldiers to invade the Isle and subjugate Britons to imperial Roman rule. It is fair to say that the Britons had little concept of the might and organisation of the Roman forces and many would learn the hard way as to what mighty Rome was capable of.

To the west of Britain, in today’s county of Dorset, England, UK, the second Roman Legion attacked the British kingdom of the Durotriges. There would have been fighting in many areas of Britain as the Roman conquerors began to systematically take over the lower southern part of the British Isle. This particular campaign was noted because of the siege of Mai Dun Fort, where the Durotriges attempted to secure themselves from the Roman Second Legion, commanded by Vespasian – a man from a noble Roman family who would one day become Emperor during the year of four Emperors in 69 AD. However, this was 43 AD and Vespasian was proving himself as a strong Roman soldier who commanded his men well.

Today Mai Dun Fort is known as Maiden Castle, but its original Celtic name of Mai Dun means ‘Great Hill.’ It was a flourishing centre by the time the Romans arrived and had its beginning back in Bronze Age 1800 BC. For over eighteen hundred years people had come to the great hill fort of Mai-Dun and it went through various stages of progression with earthworks and ramparts being built. It was a huge centre of attraction – perhaps trade and commerce in the form of a market town. Around 450 BC the Celts built more extensive earthworks and the place became a larger more fortified town of dealing among the Britons. It was certainly attractive to the Romans in 43 AD and the Durotriges Britons seemed to have an ill-deserved confidence in their ability to defend Mai Dun against Vespasian and his Second Legion. The Great Hill Fort (Mai-Dun) had a huge palisade that was surrounded by various ditches and ramparts that afforded the defenders a good view of any attacking force. They also had thousands of slinging rocks to propel against the Roman Second Legion.

The defenders came up against advanced Roman ballista siege warfare and were unable withstand the modern engineering of Rome’s more precise technology. A great siege ensued and the Durotriges finally fell to Vespasian’s Second Legion of Roman soldiers. It is believed to have been a fierce and bloody battle with Roman Legions eventually marching upon the fort after heavy ballista bombardment of darts, fire and stone projectiles.

Model impression of Romans attacking British Durotriges at Mai Dun Fort in 43 AD

In the 1930s excavators found several buried bodies of Durotriges defenders that were killed during the siege and one person had an arrowhead embedded in his spine, believed to have been shot from a ballista machine equipped to discharge several darts at a time – like a small magazine of multiple arrows. One might imagine a young Durotriges warrior manning the palisade and being taken out of the action by a scattering of high-velocity darts, one of which strikes the young defender in the back and fatally injures him. Perhaps these buried men were killed during artillery attacks and were then laid to rest before the fort fell. So it may have been that the Great Hillfort (Mai-Dun) held for a few days, at least, while Roman ballista weaponry softened the fortifications before the soldiers attacked.

Arrowhead lodged in spine of stricken Durotriges defender buried at Mai Dun Fort

There may have been a Roman military presence for a short time afterwards and there was a temple erected in the fourth century that fell into ruin, but mainly, the site of Mai Dun became an apocalyptic place as the many people that inhabited the thriving and commercial fort left after the fall to Rome’s Second Legion lead by future emperor to be; Vespasian. It became a lonely place of abandoned ramparts and remains so to this day.

 

Petula Clark Sings Downtown

This is a good old Retro Brit song from the sixties decade when all of Britain was a green field with bunny rabbits hopping about beneath a blue sky with a rainbow across it. Yeah right....  :) I can hear many say.

In my little boy mind it was because I loved Britain and thought everything happened here and nowhere else. How naive I was. Still little kids must be allowed to play. This song was among my Mother's many records. (I'm sure it was not my Dads) 

Nic Jones - The Bonny Bunch of Roses

This song called; The Bonny Bunch of Roses is about Napoleon and his invasion of Russia in 1812 and Britain's stand against him. I always liked the lyrics on this and it starts of with young Napoleon talking to his mother about conquering Britain. Young Napoleon is either the grandson or son of Bonaparte. It is a song that 'bigs' itself up, but then we all like these type of things some time or other. This rendition is sung by Nic Jones but there are others that sometimes sing this song too. Fairport Convention being one of them. Hope you enjoy this version.

Thomas The Rhymer song by Steeleye Span

Thomas the Rhymer is also a favourite from Steelye Span in the 1970s. I like some of the old Brit folk songs jazzed up on modern day instruments and blended with old authentic as well. Steelye Span were very good at doing this.

Sinking Scharnhorst - traumatic event witnessed by British Sailor Norman Scarth.

The words below are the account of an interview by British Seaman, Norman Scarth, who was presant during the final moments of the Scharnhorst Battleship. He gave the moving interview to the BBC World Service.

On 26 December 1943 one of the great sea battles of World War II took place.

Germany's most famous battleship - the Scharnhorst - was sunk by Allied forces during the Battle of the North Cape.

Norman Scarth was an 18-year-old on board the British naval destroyer HMS Matchless, which was protecting a convoy taking vital supplies to the Russian ports of the Arctic Circle.

In a BBC World Service interview he described how he witnessed the sinking of the Scharnhorst:

Norman Scarth recalls:

On Christmas Day we had been ordered to join another convoy because it was rumoured that the Scharnhorst was out.

The Scharnhorst was greatly feared. She was the most successful fighting ship of any navy during World War II and she was the bravest ship.

We were full speed at 36 knots and going through those mountainous seas.

Norman as seventeen year old in navy blue
uniform of Home Fleet

It was a full gale blowing. To go through that at full speed, the bow would rise in the air and come down, hover there and come down with a clatter as if on concrete; mountains of water coming all over the ship.

We were ordered to join the 10th Cruiser Squadron - HMS Belfast, Norfolk and Sheffield. They had met up with the Scharnhorst and they had engaged her.

There was a brief skirmish, then the Scharnhorst broke off - she was a very fast ship - and with her superior speed she was able to get out of range.

But our vice-admiral guessed that she was heading north to attack this convoy that we had been escorting and the guess proved correct.

There was an awe of her reputation, the excitement that we may be able to end the career of this most dangerous threat to us, to Britain, to the Allies - and fear knowing what we were up against.

Hunted down

It was Boxing Day when we finally met up with 10th Cruiser Squadron and the Scharnhorst. She had abandoned her mission and set off for the Norwegian fjords, which was her base and safe haven.

She had a reputation and she deserved it.

It was pitch black and we shadowed with the use of radars.

We knew that she was heading straight towards HMS Duke of York, which was cutting off her escape. She was hit by the Duke of York and was damaged and her speed was slowed.

There was the Duke of York, the Scharnhorst, the 10th Cruiser Squadron with various destroyers and another cruiser, the Jamaica.

All of us met up and all hell broke loose. Although it was pitch black the sky was lit up, bright as day, by star shells - fired into the sky like fireworks - providing brilliant light illuminating the area as broad as day.

Towards the end we had been ordered to fire a torpedo. Because the weather had eased a little I had taken up my action station as lookout on the starboard wing of the bridge.

The Scharnhorst was close and she was lit up by the star shells and by the fires aboard her. As we steamed past to fire the torpedo I was the closest man - on the wing of the bridge - to the Scharnhorst.

She looked magnificent and beautiful. I would describe her as the most beautiful fighting ship of any navy.

Gesture of defiance

She was firing with all guns still available to her. Most of the big guns were put out. They were gradually disabled one by one. As we were steaming past at full speed a 20mm cannon was firing tracer bullets from the Scharnhorst.

A 20mm cannon was like a pea-shooter compared to the other guns and it could have no part in this battle, but it was just a gesture of defiance from the sloping deck of her.

And that's one of the things that remains in my memory - a futile gesture but it was a gesture of defiance right to the very end.

I grieve for those men every day of my life

I can picture that man on the sloping deck of the Scharnhorst. I can picture that man to this day.

Eventually it took 14 ships of the Royal Navy to find her, trap her and sink her.

At that point it went pitch black.

The star shells had finished and I presumed the Scharnhorst had been sunk.

We set off to do another torpedo run to fire from the port side and the Scharnhorst was nowhere to be seen.

So we slowed and we soon saw many men floating in the water - most of them dead, face down in the water, but some were alive.

We switched our searchlight on and I remember our captain calling out to the men in the water "Scharnhorst gesunken?" and the reply came back "Ja, Scharnhorst gesunken", so we threw scrambling nets down and began to haul these men aboard.

Thirty-six were saved out of 2,000 men.

We then received an order from the commander-in-chief to join the Duke of York. So we switched off the searchlight, pulled up the scrambling nets and steamed away.

We could still hear voices calling from the black of that Arctic winter night, calling for help, and we were leaving those men to certain death within minutes.

It seemed a terrible thing to do and it was. But it was the right thing to do.

If we had stayed a moment too long we could have joined those unfortunate men.

I can hear those voices and I grieve for those men every day of my life.

I've even had someone accuse me of being a traitor because I praised the bravery of the German sailors.

I can imagine their feelings as that searchlight went out and they heard that ship steaming away.

I truly can imagine the feelings of those men.

Kraftwerk - Retro German Band

Kraftwerk means power plant or power station and the name is synonymous with the very influential Retro German band. Their strictly electronic style started in the 1970s. They are regarded as pioneers of the late seventies and early eighties electronic music movements. Kraftwerk had a great presentation style that accompanied their music, almost like un-dead, yet something ultra clean and almost sterile. It does not sound complimentary, I know, but there still remains something evocative about their simple lyrics and their germ-free appearance – something pristine and self-assured still won through and captivated people all over the world.

Moyra Melons Wanting Ear Ring Advice

Moyra Melons was waiting for her husband to walk in through the front door after another hard day at the office. One might think he would have got used to it by now, but once again, he glared in pleasant surprise as he saw his lovely Moyra staring at him, as in the photo before.

"Good Lord Moyra!" he exclaimed.

"I want your advice on what sort of ear rings would match this jean skirt and top. I'm flummoxed as to what type of ear ring would go with this."

"Do you like being flummoxed then?" asked her husband.

"No but sometimes I just am," she replied.

"Well your going to get flummoxed again my dear. By the way I'm a man with a pretend speech impediment, when I say 'flumexed.' Do you understand." He grinned wolfishly.

"No I don't understand, but I've a feeling your about to explain," she replied and then the penny dropped for Moyra Melons. "Oh! 'Flummoxed,' and you have a speech impediment. I think I get it."

"No darling you are about to," he repled and closed the door and Moyra Melons did get it then - really, she did... :)

 

English language and the Anglo-Saxon Invasion of Britain.



King Arthur fights the Anglo-Saxons

The Romans began to leave Britain in 410 A.D as their grand empire began to shrink. Across mainland Europe barbarian tribes were causing all sorts of migrations as Huns, Goths and other tribes ventured into the western areas of the continent - lands rich with over 400 years of Roman administration.

Neighboring tribes that had previously been driven back by the Roman army began immigrating to the British Isles en masse. All of Britain, including Caledonia, to the north, were under threat. The Picts who had been able to keep Rome at bay began to attract interest from Hibernia (Ireland). A northern tribe known as Scoti began to migrate to their northern lands.

Demise of Roman Britain

In the Romanised parts of Britain's south east; the Germanic people of Northern Europe, known as Saxons, Angles and Jutes began to migrate onto the island. They were fierce tribes fighting to secure lands in southern Britain. 

The Roman Celts termed the Anglo-Saxon tribes as invaders. They were pushed back westwards towards Wales, Devon and Cornwall. The stories of King Arthur are about his Britons fighting against Angles and Saxon invaders. Though the legends have become corrupted over time. (Some making King Arthur a King of England when it was the English tribes he fought against.) For the Roman Celts, the demise of their civilization must have been along an apocalyptic scale as they saw their industry and commerce decline and their lands swamped by the English tribes. They had to integrate or flee west.



Invasion of Anglo-Saxon tribes

Eventually the Angles and Saxons became the dominant force through out the entire Isle with their language, one day, becoming most widely spoken. Of all the tribes in Britain, during the beginning of the Dark Ages; the English ones were illiterate. It is strange and quite a feat that their language would one day progress so far.

Of course this language as developed over the centuries and if anyone went back among the Dark Age Anglo-Saxons, I think Dutch people might have a better chance of understanding what they were saying, then people of English speaking nations would.

Saxon Quest is a story of Gewisse Saxons and Dumnonian Celts of South West Britain in the year of AD 567.

Saint Columba of Iona - Hibernian Mission - Dark Ages



Saint Columba

Saint Columba was born in today’s county Donegal, Ireland during the year of AD 521. He is a very important figure because he founded the monastery on the western Scottish island of Iona. In time, the missions from this small sanctuary would have far leading consequences for Christianity throughout the British Isles and into mainland Europe’s Frankish Empire. Among the Picts of Caledonia (Scotland) and later the Anglo-Saxon kingdoms; (Today’s North and South Eastern England) the Hibernian missionaries spread Christianity across the Isles. Iona would become a mini Rome for Celtic and Anglo-Saxon kingdoms of Britain. Many of the Western areas of today’s England were Celtic Kingdoms too, along with Wales.

Hibernian is another name for Irish and Scots. The Scots/Irish colonised and integrated with Caledonia's Picts. Often the Romans referred to Ireland as Hibernia and the Anglo-Saxons (English) called Irish and Scots Hibernian Missionaries.

Saint Columba was of a high distinguished bloodline from Cenel Conaill in Gartan. Here and throughout Ireland, the spread of Christianity had brought about the collapse of druidism. Monasteries were built and the teaching of Christianity and Latin flourished. Young Columba entered into the monastic teaching at Clonard Abby and was tutored by one of Ireland’s founders of Irish monasticism. There were over three thousand students under instruction at Clonard Abby and from Saint Finian’s teaching came twelve Apostles of Ireland – Columba was one of them. He left Clonard as a monk and was then ordained as a priest. He went on to found other monasteries of fame in Ireland. 
  

However, before this, Columba had copied a psalter from a scriptorium at the Movilla Abby. This must have been a feat that required a lot of concentration as the books were also elaborately decorated and the binding was a skilled undertaking also. St Finian got into a quarrel with Columba because he wanted the copied Psalter to be kept in another Abby, reasoning that it was the property of the monastic order, while Columba wanted this book to keep with him, where ever he went – an accessory for psalms and other things he might need – something to hand at all times. After all, he had put in a lot of work to acquire this. Perhaps Saint Finian regarded this as self-indulgent and priests could not be permitted such luxuries.

In AD 549 Saint Finian died, but the argument concerning the psalter must have been championed by other followers of Saint Finian because it all came to a dreadful confrontation about eleven to twelve years later (Around AD 560.) Some historians quote an argument about it in AD 560 and Saint Finian being involved.  However, if Saint Finian died in AD 549; it was either another Saint Finian or people of his cause?

This argument of the copied psalter from Movilla Abby’s scriptorium eventually caused a pitched battle of Cul Dreimhne in which many men were killed. Columba was called to account for this and faced being stripped of his robe (Priest status). Instead, he was banished to Caledonia (Scotland). He landed on the west coast with his followers and began to travel north, teaching Christian doctrines. He was given authority over an area of land on the island of Iona on the west coast. From here, he was charged with creating a new monastery and evangelising the Picts. With his group of devoted followers, he managed to Christianise the Pictish kingdoms and then sent more Hibernian missions, from Iona, far and wide. He gained the respect of many Pict realms and became very influential in the overall governing of Caledonia (Scotland)

He died in AD 597 at the age of seventy-five.  He left a lasting legacy of spreading Christianity across much of Europe after the fall of the Roman Empire. He was a man of many letters, hymns and some three hundred books. His devotion to Christian doctrines was colossal at a time when civilisation was adjusting in the Dark Ages and looking for a collective way forward.