|Moyra sat and listened to me.|
Moyra's husband coughed slightly and added. "Ear rings are not the be all and end all of everything."
I looked him straight in the eye and said. "That's alright for you to say mate, when your sitting next to your wife in dazzling ear rings. With all due respect - you're spoilt."
"Would you like me to have a word with her for you?" asked Moyra Melons.
"Would you?" I replied.
That was several days ago. I've just seen Moyra Melons with her husband in the supermarket and could not resist asking her if she had remembered to have a word with my girlfriend on the delicate subject of ear rings.
Moyra Melons said she could not be bothered because after seeing her, she decided I needed to go to specsavers. I'm going to take her advice and get glasses, because try as I might I can't see my girlfriend's ear rings. They must be very small.